My first love is an Aquarius

My first love is an Aquarius. We were each others first love, and were together for 4.5 years from our teen through to our very early 20's. He was like most of the above, a typical Aquarius, and I was a typical (Double) Scorpio.

I loved him so intensely, but the worst part of me which was jealous, suspicious, closed, reserved... + the worst part of him, add that on top of the confusion of puberty and my traumatically emotional and physical abusive home life made it impossible. We went from make up to break up.

After a heart shattering end that tore me apart and left me with a very low esteem, played Yo-Yo with my weight and pretty much led me to alienate a majority of people we both knew, I am today a stronger person who holds her head up high and is so much more sure of herself and her future.

After 6 years of avoiding, not seeing or speaking to my Aquarius, we met again last weekend.

He has grown to a man and not just physically. He admitted that the love he felt for me just suddenly came rushing back when he laid eyes on me again, while I admitted the same.

We were like old friends, he only had eyes for me, he spoke of the future, of setting down and the possibility of giving us another shot. We talked till the early hours on the following morning and in those hours I saw his sensitive side, one I never got to see in the early years. I never in my entire life felt so drawn and connected to another human being. I could feel the pull within my soul.

And so, as I have been in my relationships since our breakup (which has been very, very few) I wanted to be honest and went on to tell him 2 major events that told place after our breakup, one that directly involved him. But because I was young and afraid at the time, I thought it best to keep him in the dark about as it would not have made any difference at the time.

But my Aquarius didn't take this too well. The news was too much for him to deal with and told me, although he still loves me and has been unable to love any other the same way since, he didn't know if he could get pass this new revelation.

I was very disappointed and although I never counted on it, I had hoped.

I have never loved any person so much in my 27 years as much as this man and I may never will. I only know that until that weekend I had it buried in the abyss that is the core of a true Scorpio.

I continue to pray and hope that he may forgive my errors... But life stills goes on.