How to get my ex Cancer man back?

by Allison
(Washington, DC)

Me and my Cancer man ex broke up at the end of May and know it's July. How do you think I can get him back? I am still in love with him.

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Get him back
by: Anonymous

Of course, a lot depends on the reasons you broke up, but...Do NOT call, text, write, go where he goes, anything. When he does contact you, and he will eventually, say you are going out and having fun and ask him what is up? Do not tell him you miss him, want him, unless he tells you this first.

Cancer
by: Nancy

Not true to not write. They love letters, expecially poems. Just to do it expecting a letter back. They like to think things out. When he does he'll act like nothing happened. Don't try to get him back for not calling as fast as you would have liked cause he will go back in his shell. When he does call tell him you miss him terribly. They love to be needed. Listen to what he says. Do not be insensitive for they are emotional.

I agree with the person above
by: Anonymous

Its fine to call and text, just dont lash out about the break-up, even if its his fault, chances are if he loved you, it hurt him deeply to know that he hurt you, someone who genuinely cares for him(since it is hard for cancer man to believe anyone in the world would take time to care about them so much, which is why they are private, and sensitive, they hate to get hurt) If he hasn't called its his fear of rejection, so let him be. If really loves you, you will definitely be getting a text or a call just simply to let you know how sorry he is, and how much he really cares about you, so dont worry bout having to say it to him first..if you wait, TRUST ME he'll definitly beat you to it

my cancer
by: leo woman

Me and my cancer my ex finance been knowing each other for 2 and 8 months. We was going to get marry in 08 but he end up being locked up for a year. I was visiting him and sending him money,letters, and pictures.When he got out of prison he live with another lady, but he was cheating on her.But me and him was still talking.But until he thought i meant i didn't want to see him. so he stop calling me for about 1 1/2 out of the blue.We been talking every since then, but now he lives in another state but he's really doing good down where he stays.I still love him and miss him, and he feel the same way. how can i get him back all the way.can somebody help me

he needs to boss up
by: Anonymous

to the lady above..Im a little confused about your story. If he lives with another woman, i definitely would've advised you to step off and let him come to you. Cancer men read and watch people. The worst thing you can do is send the wrong message, cancer men take people for face value at first, at least until he know's you for good. To him, what you see is what you get, if you said it you must've meant it...so be careful you would'nt want him to think your okay with being the other woman. In the case that now he's moved, i would say keep it light, and tell him you still care for him. Caress his ego, he'll base in it(he'll love it) but you MUST be sincere, he'll know the difference. So dont over do it. Tell him how you feel and give him just enough to let him know he's special and not like any other guy you've loved. He'll always cherish it. But in all cases with men, you have to let him come to you...im bestfriends with a cancer man for over 10 yrs, and this is the one man i can be myself around. He adores sweet and affectionate women. He loves knowing he's the first guy i told "i love you to" and i truly meant it. It makes him feel special and he loves to hear it over and over and over. So caress his ego, and wait for the fireworks girl!

hes back already
by: Anonymous

you need to take the initiative of getting to know him better start to ask him out on dates get to know him as a friend instead of a lover and soon he will come around and maybe be more interested than he was before

MY CANCER MAN is confusing!
by: Anonymous

I've read the posts and I see a lot of similarities. After 2 blissful months together my cancer boyfriend broke up because he said he wasn't ready. Then he said he wanted to be 'friends' then he asked if we could be friends with benefits. I get a one step forward two step back sort of vibe. I've been told to let him chase me. I've been told to be his friend. I've been told to be solid in my feelings for him.

Now that we are friends he seems more at ease. Do I play hard to get? Do I do the friends with benefits thing?

I love him wholeheartedly but this is near impossible to figure out!

You do all 3!!
by: Anonymous

1. If your the type of woman that can't have sex and JUST have sex, then i wouldn't suggest the friends with benifits thing. It will mess everything up if you and your cancer man aren't on the same page. Dont get me wrong sex is never just sex to a cancer man. Its another way for him to express his feelings for you, HOWEVER he knows how to be "passionate" friends with benefits,but it doesn't mean he'll be ready for a relationship. My cancer man put that offer on the table, i've loved him since i was 13 that was 10 yrs ago. i refused because i knew i wanted more. And to this day we are still the best of friends, and he loves me n i love him.

2. Yes!! Be solid about your feelings, because he wont stand for games, "cat n mouse" sort of thing. If there are any games keep them subtile, i say this because every man needs a little rope to play with, something to chase. The diff with cancer man is you have to do but at the same time still let him know you still care deeply for him.GOOD LUCK.LOL.

don't do all 3
by: Anonymous

I think doing all 3 is wrong if you love him. I told my cancer man I could not have "just sex" without anything more and he respected my boundaries. I later gave in a little and felt a little loss of respect. He has now moved on to someone who will give him what he wants. No committment, no responsibilities, sex whenever it is convenient. He will soon tire of this and want a stronger woman with needs of her own when he is ready for a relationship. He will have to step up to win her approval. I wish I had stood my ground. I know he cares for me, but not in the way I want. I know we could stay friends but it will hurt me to know he is with someone else. Telling him how I feel now will be disappointing becasue he will have to let me down gently.

YES YOU DO! DO ALL 3
by: Anonymous

To the user above, thats why i told her not to do "friends with benifits" IF she KNOWS she wants more. I said my cancer offered the same thing. I told him no, for the same reason u refused your cancer, because i loved him too much and wanted more. I told her to do if she knows how to get up and be okay with being "JUST" friends with benefits. If not, then i did encourage her not to do it, so she wont get hurt like you described in your story. The little advice about giving him some rope, every man wants a woman thats un-touchable. It makes her stand out, especially if she's showing that she cares for him, but is NOT stupid over him. No one wants a bimbo that will do anything to get with him. She must maintain a sense of dignity, by showing her interest and feelings without seeming desperate.

Sorry
by: Anonymous

You are right. I should have gone back to read your story before commenting. I only hope he does not fall in love with the other one. Cancers need to be in love and I will always wonder if I stayed for sex, if he would have been in love too eventually. Do you think they ever go back to the one they couldn't have? The chemistry was amazing and we lusted after eachother for so....many yrs. Does that go away? I feel like it will always be strong with me.

To "sorry"
by: Anonymous

Its okay, im sure you missed those little details in my comment.lol.

But to your question, i understand exactly how you feel and what you are going through. If i would've given into my cancer im sure i'd be in the same mind-set/boat as you. My cancer and i have been and still are lusting after one anther for 10 yrs, it will be 11 this coming yr. Trust me i almost gave in 100's of times, but he knows my heart, and he genuinely cares about me and my feelings. We not only have sexual attraction, we have a remarkable friendship that we both sort of take turns protecting when the other is weak and full of lust. At times he wanted to give in and cross that line, and i had to be strong for both of us, and then there were times when i wanted cross and he had to do the same. I guess nither of us wants to risk it. In your case i would suggest you try being friends with your cancer. Get him to feel comfortable with you outside of a romantic relationship. If he's comfortable he will open up more, and wont be as timid. As far as getting him to talk about his feelings romantically, he almost a closed book. I can get my cancer to talk about his, but he's always extreamly nervous, afraid that he will look weak and soft.I just kiss him, and thank him for his efforts.But the cancer man is a sucker for romance and "real" passion. Care for him, be there for him when he needs you most, wheather is just a hug because he had a bad day, or offering a listening ear to all his worry's and fear and troubles. He will always cherish it. Even though this MIGHT not get you a romantic relationship with him, he will save you heartach and it will always secure a special spot in his heart for you. It worked for me ;)

Thanks
by: Anonymous

That made me feel a little better. We had been there for each other as friends for many years before getting together, due to his separation. It's too soon but eventually I would like to be friends with him again. I don't know if he will do that but it would mean a lot to me. It's easier for us both right now to just step back and let things happen. I don't know how you do it though. Somewhere deep down don't you want to see if this is it? If you could have a real chance with him? That's what I am sorry for I guess. Not having a REAl chance (him not being married) Who knows, maybe when his divorce is over and he has sowed his wild oats????

im not sure
by: Anonymous

yea i often think about it..to be honest whenever one of my relationships dont work or his doesn't i tell myself its becuz im meant for him.lol. but only time will tell.

incomplete
by: Anonymous

when i first meet my cancer man tall dark in handsome he walked up to me and he interduce his self to me he told me that he had be watching me for a while somebody else would have thought that he was starking them but i did not feel like that i felt after talking to him that we had a connection as if we were soul mates it last a long time but you know leo's they love attention to when he was'nt there to give me that attention that that he started off giving me i felt lost be then there he was again like nothing never happened like no time had passed i saw him recently and he call out for me before i can turn around to see who was calling i knew it was him so i knew what was going. i turn and wave and kept walking but ever step i took away from him it eat me up inside as i turn the conner he was at the other end just looking at me as if he could not beleive that i did not come to. i thought i was doing the right thing at that time it was'nt for me because now i feel like im loseing my mind. i love him deep i feel we are heaven bond together i feel like im not not whole without my other helf i want to be whole again i sereach for him i tryed to contact his sister and his brother but know hope.

Scorpio woman married to Cancer man
by: Anonymous

I have been married to a cancer man for 9yrs. Start of this year I discovered he was chatting on MSN, calling and flirting with other girls and even taking them to clubs. He denied everything when i confronted him the first time but it happened twice again after that.What got to me most is that he says he never does things like this and then I catch him doing exactly that!. I am losing trust in him but dont want to lose what we have together. We separated for a while and im afraid he might have become attached to another woman.
He hides his phones and I can tell when he is getting attention from elsewhere, he becomes moody and aggressive towards me.I am in two minds about him and keep searching for answers because
I heard one of his close friends who knows he is married-saying "is that your girlfried on the phone" when it was me on the phone to him. This really got me suspicious ( I mean why would one of his close friends say that especially after I found out about the 2other girls he was after?)and when i asked Mr cancer man,he denied it-again& lied again as if i was hearing things, or even better making it up. Do you think he is a player and doesnt want to let go of me, or is he trying to get with another woman and when he knows he has her h will leave me? confused scorpio..

He is lying
by: Anonymous

Your Cancer man has been lying to you repeatedly. He will always need attention from other women, especially if you are a jealous, controlling, ask so...many questions about his whereabouts kind of wife. Cancers find it hard to let go, so he will not be the one. They do not like confrontation, so he will avoid it at all costs. If what you have together is so special, you would not be so suspicious and he would not be fooling around. You deserve better.

Im with the person above
by: Anonymous

thats all i had to say...im with her. With my cancer as i described above (friends with feelings for each other for 10 yrs) never once have i known him to cheat on his girlfriends. Did you hear what i jus said...AND THOSE WERE JUST HIS GF'S...my dad married my mom fooled around but NONE of the women came before her. Fortunately being number and not the ONLY one was not enough for her, so she bounced. And do you know what...till this day he refuses to re-marry. Claiming that even though they got a divorce a "man-made" court can't un-do what was promised before God...he claimes shes STILL his wife, she jus doesn't know it. lol.

missing him!!!
by: Anonymous

Ok so i went out with him almost a year nd to me everything seemed magical like if it had came out of a movie or something... i loved him so much i would of done anything for his love. I had lost ma vriginaty to him because i trusted him, loved him respected him so i did it. LaTe septemeber he got locked up Nd when he got out he broke up wit me for some other girl nd i begged him to come bak but he was go deep. he later text me saying he was sorry for wat he did but i was stupit nd thought nothing of it. couple months later he was texting me say how i was. I really want him bak even though he left me for som one else. Idk wAT TO Do PLZ HELP ME....

Date
by: Anonymous

Try to date other people, go out with friends, anything to get your mind OFF him. When he sees that you are living your life, having fun and NOT being desparate about being with him, he will wonder what he is missing. Do not call, text or email him ever. Honestly, you deserve someone who WANTS to be with you and only you. Move on. I KNOW it's hard, it happened to me too and now I can be objective and realize that I can do beeter. Good luck!

=(
by: Anonymous

i was unfortunatly mean to my cancer man due to circumstances.it was for the best on both parts.i do love him but im not sure if he knows.i cant even think about finding another.we dont talk anymore.and still i refuse to move on.my advice to anyone on here is yes they are hard people to figure out. but just let them do what they do.if they love you they will come back to u.but dont b mean to them cuz they wont stick around.

He Knows
by: Anonymous

He knows you love him. They ARE very sensitive and you shoul not be mean, but sometimes it just comes out. If you would feel better you could apologize for being mean. He is probably very stubborn and won't make the first move. Then give him his space. It will probably take a while for him to process everything and get over the meaness.

IM IN LOVE WITH A CANCER MAN & DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO !!!!
by: Anonymous

my cancer man talk to other girls. he claim none of them matter to him as much as i do to him. i always love him & like him a lot.he always told me that he like me , but than he finak said i love you. just the another day he told me not to say anything to him. he claim i ask to him to many questions , im annoying & things like that ! but in the mist of it all he still love me. i dont know what to do , & im suppose to be sorry for caring , my feelings , for wanted him & needed him by my side.

IM IN LOVE WITH A CANCER MAN & DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO !!!!
by: Anonymous

Um..im sorry but what exactly is your sign? You've got to be either a cancer yourself, a taurus, or a sensitve piscies.lol. All of the signs i named are the most sensitive of the zodiac including your lover boy cancer love interest. In fact his sensitivity is off the charts compared to the others, at least they try to hide it. Anyway, my advice is to tone it down. Its okay for him to be overly emotional, but YOU CANT! You must maintain yourself. If you were a confident sexy, independent woman in the beginning stay that way. I mean after all it IS what attracted him in the first place. A cancer man's weakness in love is a woman who is genuinely into him and has his best interest at heart. However it is very crucial to remember that when he is in a craby mood, you MUST back off! Dont hover him it will only make things worse. Dont wory he'll come back around. Just be sweet, and do you. If he loves you he's not going anywhere anytime soon.

Tolerance
by: Anonymous

Yes, I agree. That was very hostile. Everyone of us is different and no one can judge. If you don't like the person, stay away from them, that's all.

My cancer is back calling and wanting to chat and that's it. He's not "divorced" yet (going thru it)and I think that's holding him back. That's OK for me for now. I see other people and remain open to what's going to happen. It used to bather me that he couldn't offer more, but I realized that if I am going to accept it, then don't complain. If not, I don't have to pick up the phone.

I CANT LET GO!!!
by: Anonymous

Im a virgo,the first time i saw my cancer,i fell in love!!! 6'5 dark n handsome.The crazy thing was he was my ex-husbands co-wrker. He Used to flirt with me all the time and now. He aproached me and said he wanted me and i deserved better. We got together and it was majic from the start. He said i was everything he wanted in a woman and he was gonna make me fall in love with him,and i did. Now hes sayin hes not ready to call anyone his woman and we need to wait. I am so confused. He dont call as much and we dont see each other tht much anymore. So i changed my #. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IT HURTS, WHT DO I DO!!!

Taurus woman cancer man
by: Anonymous

I met my cancer guy a when I left my husband.even though he wasn't my type I still liked him.I had a lotgoing on so I didn't put in any effort my husband and i got back together and my cancer guy and I drifted apart.as the year went by we sometimes spoke things got worst with my husband, so a few times I contacted him to hang out just as friends and everytime we will make plans I was so overwhelmed with issues that I will cancel the date not wanting to be an emotional wreck. I got legally seperated and my cancer guy surfaced. He invited me over to hang out we had a good time Me being a taurus woman and a hopeless romantic I fell hard for him.needless to say initially he pursued me and after I finally started showing him signs that I was indeed falling in like with him he started to push me away he will send text like he likes me, and how my beauty exceeds every beauty he ever acknowledged and i calm all his inner fears but yet will not call when he say he would, sometimes ignore my text and then invite me over and when Im on my way call to cancel and say he is tired for us to just hang out the next day I kept throwing hints like I feel like he is complicated, and I feel like he ignores me but then he will just make up excuses. the other night i text him, i told him I missed him...he said he did too I also stated i thought he was weird and hard to understand and that i was giving up... he begged me not to...I told him I was sorry but I had to because i felt like he led me on....he then responded that he will call me later...I told him no, for him not to brush me off and if he did not to even call...he called 20 mins later to tell me i was difficult and that he was old fashion and didnt like to talk on the phone he also mentioned that I had insecurities and I was stubborn and strong willed....we got off the phone with him saying he will call me the next day... i texted him and told him, that my insecurities where my issues not his and also after we had sex he waited a while to call me and an old fahion person would have called the next day. he said he understands and will call me the next day...being the emotional wreck that I am I sent him an email apologising for my behaviour, explaining to him that i did have insecurities that I needed to work on and unfinished marriage issues and I felt like it was not a good idea to text me anthing sensual and that I was no longer having sex with him...I mentioned that I was very attraced to him and genuinly cared for him that i would love for us to stay friends and maybe one day we can try again....he never called like he said he would and he never responded to my email....I am not burden by the situation but a little sad. I actually like this guys and saw him as a potential mate Now I feel like I made a fool of myself despite the fact that I felt like he was all talk and no actions

Cancer men......ugh
by: Anonymous

Dont waste your time with these guys. They know what they want and if they are stringing you along they are just using you. Dont be used by these guys. If they really wanted to be with you trust me they would persue you without a doubt. Dont make excuses for these guys. Save yourself the heartache and crazy mixed feelings you will experience with these cancer guys. They are like a cancer you know. Eating away at your feelings and emotions leaving you in a fog. If you are questioning your relationship....get out now!

OMG a Cancer made me crazy (pisces)!
by: Jenn

I've only been in 4 relationships in my life.. 4 years with an Aries (had a child).. married an Aries that lasted 12 years (had a child). A year long relationship with a Cap and a 6 month relationship with a Virgo.. then this Cancer came along and swept me off my feet!!!!!! This was a first for me.. this guy came into my life like he was a God.. lol His charm and pursuit.. I couldn't resist him long. He told me he wanted a relationship.. asking me if I was his girl.. saying all the right things.. then once he got me, he withdrew.. it drove me literally crazy. lol Good part and bad part was that it was only a little over a month.. but wow.. I will never forget that man. St. Patty's day we were supposed to see one another for the 3rd time.. it didn't happen.. he claimed he called me four times, but my network was crap.. bs. Facebook photos surface that he was with another woman.. I confronted him about it.. he "tried" to explain.. but there was proof that he was with her a night after with me.. which he then tried to "explain" again.. with me going after him about things he said (cuz I have nothing to hide).. he stops contact and deletes me from facebook.. part of me wants to HATE him.. but he was so charming.. I will try my best not to contact him AT ALL.. and see what happens.. wish me luck please, cuz omg.. this cancer is the best thing ever. lol

I miss my cancer boyfriend
by: Anonymous

I am a Leo , I was in a relationship with my cancer man for a year and half , it started so well then we started having loads of arguments , we use to spend every moment of every day together till one day he told me he wanted us to break up and build a stronger friendship , I was confused and hurt by this do I tried to move on, he became jealous everytime he heard of me getting close to someone even to the extent of confronting men I had dealings with(just talking) in the end I left the country for 3 months because I was finding it difficult to deal with the emotional war between the two of us initially when I travelled, he contacted me but we argued then stopped talking , when I return home I tried to call him he was cold and hurtful, and put the phone down on me. It was like I never travel I as back hOme with the sane feeling and he had the sand control over me. I decided to log in2 his Facebook find out what was what he was talking to another girl, he then found out what I did got angry I tried to apologise , after sometime he said he forgave me, but I think he only has recently but he still doesn't want anything to do with , I just want us to be friends again because I miss him so much. I've tried contacting him , do I just cOunt my loses and let it go.... Sorry this is so long winded.

will my cancer man forgive me?
by: jennifer

i've been seeing this guy who is a cancer and it was like we fell in love almost straight away, i found him to be loving but controlling at the same time. he always told me that i can tell him anything and he will always be in my corner. we always fell out and then started speaking again but now we are not on speaking terms and he told me that he hates me. the reason we have fallen out is because he asked me to do something for him which he felt was important and i didnt do it. he said i don't care for his feeling and when i told i loved him it was a lie.

these things isn't true, i love him very much and i'm finding so hard with out him, my heart hurts.
i explained to him why i never done it but he said he doesnt care.
what i dont understand is if he hates me why does he text me asking me where i am? when i ask him why he replys i just want to know. he also came to my house unexpected asking for a letter he thought he left but why didnt he just call?

so i'm wondering do cancer men forgive and does he really hate me.
what can i do to get him back??

My cancer man is angry with me
by: Little heart

I have been in a on and of relation with my cancer boyfriend. I recently got laid off my job and he have been footing my bill I went out with my sisters for the whole day and didn't text him and call him as much as he thought I should. I dropped him a couple of times and we manage to get back together. He hold grudges. And he always think I will hurt him after hanging with my sister I text him and asked to call me but but he said that I had fun and was preocupied n he had more Important thing and i could forget about talking to him now that was almost aweek ago and in spite my text and my pleads he has no contact with me prior to that he text me several times a day to tell me he loves and I am the only women for him. I love him very much but now he don't call or text me what should I do

cancer male
by: Anonymous

i went out wiv a cancer man for 4 months. we,ve bin split 6 wks now n i still cant get over him. but all i hav read here is tru. he made me feel like i was the best thing he,d ever had. infact he told me that. even spoke about marriage etc. but was very moody wen things didnt go his way. i forgave a few of his mistakes, bcos i wanted him tgo no i realy loved him. but it was never the other way round. its like he alwqys focused on the negative. we had an arguement n now he wont even answer my calls or texts. says he hates me. they realy are all or nothin. i will never forget him, but he realy did mess up my brain, and break my heart.

f you cancers tired of the BS
by: Anonymous

fuck cancer men, ive loved one for 10 years on and off, and yer i made a mistake, a simple telling how much he means to me,and now i am dead to him,ive sent email after email, and he wont reply,telling me to pack it in, and get over it, cheecky bastard yer ill just tell my heart to get over it, so i did it i walked away, 6 weeks, but ive been lying here all night dying to talk to him and crying with the memorys and the feelings i have, but he is a user, who thinks the earth was put here for him, he said i dont ow you anything, ok mate i need my heart to walk away though, anyone who wants to understand cancer men should watch the tudors, johnthan rys myers plays henry the 8th and he is a loon thats what we are getting and we deserve it putting up with the shit, when they say there is a fine line beetween love and hate there not lying, i hate him and love him so much it hurts, im probley the loon <3

try this
by: Anonymous

Dear allison
You have ur answer in your question. You still love him!!! I dont know what brought about this break up but i think its better u let him know of it, talk to him, and then tell him u require time to sort things out. he is a cancer he needs to feel secure.

Possessiveness could hav been the reason for the break, but u must realise that everyone is possessive bout their loved ones to certain extend, a cancerian a bit more than others. cancers tend to get very insecure and protective bout their loved ones, that could suffocate u wen u think hes controlling - but just think of it as caring and how much stress he takes for u.

i know cos i am a cancer who just got dumped by my first and last. know her since i was 17

Hope u get him back

New love.
by: Anonymous

My cancer man ended our lovely new relationship (just three months) because his mum is very ill, and he can't offer me any emotional connection whilst he is so needed to help his family.
Is there any chance he might come back to me, when this is all 'over'?

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