How do I keep this going?

by Paula

I've been dating an Aries male for 3 months now. AND I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES. We made out on the first date and had sex on the second, simply because he was so irresistibly charming. Although he had to fight his way through it- physically, because i tried resisting him while giving out signals that i am so tempted. He naturally won.

We started contacting each other A LOT and then he took me for granted which pissed me off so I stopped talking to him. He came back a few days after, apologizing.

Take note that I am an independent woman who does not drop everything to make myself available for him. A lot of times I would apologize for not being able to text back because I was too busy :D

Another aspect of this, is he's Chinese and I'm not (since his family is traditional, it is forbidden in their tradition for a chinese to date a non-chinese). I'm the first non-Chinese he dated and this probably contributes to the excitement. This also became a problem because at some point I've demanded that he let me meet his friends (who are from traditional conservative families too). So it happened again, me ignoring him for weeks and them him initiating contact and then we end up meeting... then having sex. :| I wish I've read all about Aries before this. I should have put sex off every time we make up.

Now how do I fix the obvious mistakes I did?

Comments for How do I keep this going?

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Keeping the relationship going with Aries
by: Anonymous

I have been on and off again (mostly on) with an Aries Boyfriend for almost 3 years. I am an aquarius. He pursued me relentelessly for 5 months before we got together, and then I had to literally make him wait 3 months before sex after we became Bf and GF. He winded and dined me and still does. he is romantic and has been there for me as a friend even when we were broken up. The key to aries is not being clingy. As an aquarius, I like my space too and so does aries so it works. But aries can quickly take you for granted even when they worked hard to win you. They love the chase so keep things unpredictable. Keep a balance between initiating and letting them lead. let them think most things are their idea and make sure you let him feel like a hunter but also let him see he is winning you over but not all the time. I am a normally unpredictable person. My aries can't get enough for me. he keeps coming back. But we argued a lot in the last year but are going steady this year. aries wants to be the man. Don't be bossy, give him his space and let him lead. also I am very very feminine and sweet but also independent and can be fiesty. They are more visually stimulated than than most other guys. wear feminine clohtes and be ladylike in public but be daring and sexy in private whilst being shy and innocent. LOl sounds crazy but I have got this down to a scienece. as long as you trust him to take charge, give him space, be intimate, sexy, vulnerable and occassionally unpredicatble, he aint going no where. Trust me.

dear anonymous
by: Anonymous

you said it yourself... he's chinese and expected to be with a chinese woman. he's clearly attracted to you but he is likely looking to meet another chinese female who can make him feel as excited as you are- but for the long term. this is an uphill battle. it sounds like you're doing things somewhat correctly (you're once again right on the bit about the make up sex..) but it will continue to happen if you dont step back. aries is a man's man. an element to their masculinity is being accepted and even praised by their family or close group. that includes introducing the right female as a partner and being clapped on the back as approval. he'd have to be really in love or i-cant-live-without-you-crazy-attached to withstand his clan's disapproval or worse, mockery. it might be different if it was something else fixable like religion or finances or profession but its a racial difference and its unlikely you can make yourself turn chinese any time soon. the fact that he doesnt look for you when you stop communicating for weeks describes the level of his attachment with you. if you really wish to pursue this though, hoping you can have a happy ending with him.. best advice: start dating other people. make sure this aries man is aware you are desired by other males. if at all possible, try to have him see you on one of those casual dates. be shy when he asks you and just say you're making friends. never brag about your dates or guys asking you out. pretend you're shy about the topic or shy about sharing your dating stories. continue to touch but be subtle. laugh when he says something sarcastic and touch him on the forearm. look at his lips when he talk and never glance at your phone.
when its time to say goodbye, make sure he knows you guys are pals and tell him to txt you if he has no movie buddy. if he does start talking to you again and perhaps more often, treat him like you would any guy friend at first and be open. try to meet his friends and if you feel like baking a cake for his parents, that might earn you extra points. just make sure he thinks you just made extra ones as a result of practicing and he can have one and give the rest to his family if theyre nearby. if you end up kissing.. be sure to stop at some point and say you cant as you're technically NOT dating. dont shave your legs to help your mind with that on lol. its basically subterfuge..lodging yourself into his world without him noticing and making you his new bestfriend haha get to that he's-now-so-attached-to-you and perhaps race will become a small matter. goodluck!

RE: Keeping the Relationship going w/ Aries
by: Aries

Ms. Aquarius stated it best. Aries hate for a person to be clingy! We certainly need our space and many times... Aries will have experienced many lovers before settling down with the right one. Cultural differences mean nothing to an Aries in love. But if you keep pushing... you will push your Aries right out the door! Have fun! Be Sexy! Be Yourself!

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