Have I lost my sagittarius guy?

by Confused
(3 degrees north)

I'm a virgo female in love with a sagittarius guy. we've been dating for a few years and have been going through a lot of difficulties. in the beginning it was fun he wanted to see me all the time which i loved and we would talk or just hang, so naturally he wanted to be in a relationship with me but i wasn't ready to committed to him because i didn't trust him (would catch him in lil white lies), but he was very persistent so i gave in. he was very possessive and controlling so i broke up with him over this but he would always win me back promising me he would change.

i committed whole heatedly, still without trusting him, and i wanted to know where out relationship was going or what plans did he have for us, so i would ask him all these questions and he would get really frustrated and bothered and i could see the "freedom" inner conflict thing going on. he would tell me just relax you know i want you here or you wouldn't be here, etc. i felt like these were excuses just so he would have to make promises to me that he knew he couldn't or didn't want to commit to. i started to feel like he was drifting further and further away from me and maybe waiting for when he's completely out of love for me to move on, that i snapped and forced him to break up with me.

after this happened i wanted to be broken up with no communication, but every time i would ignore his calls he would get really mad and tell me this is what you really wanted, act all depressed and sad. so i would say fine lets get back together, and he would say i want to i just don't want that to happen again because i might do something i regret. but now i feel like this is the perfect situation for him: no commitment, sees me when HE wants, doesn't have to compromise, doesn't have to promise me anything and still gets the benefits of feeling loved by me. which breaks my heart, because its not like its all my fault, and i feel like he's waiting for me to prove myself to him, and that he'll only come back if things become perfect as if we were strangers with no issues, which isn't realistic at all. Now he's on vacation with his friends i got a call three times and i guess i'm suppose to be happy about that?!?