Cheating, infidelity and affairs

Cheating used to be a very black and white thing. These days however, with more and more people starting relationships online the lines have become blurred. Concepts such as emotional affairs (a sharing of intimacy, without physical sex) are becoming more relevant and controversial.

When it comes to relationships, cheating is unique in many ways - for one, it's a vastly different experience depending on which side of the fence you're on - it's a mixture of excitement, revitalization and guilt for one partner, and a huge betrayal of trust for the other.

Lying

Cheating nearly always involves lying - people don't like to hurt their loved ones, so it's easy to justify doing so. Often by the end of things the lying has done as much damage as the cheating did - it's nearly always a double whammy.

Humans are much better at lying than they like to think. Most people tell white lies almost every day. People are also much worse at detecting lies than they think (especially from loved ones). This playing field is in favor of the cheater, and an increasing number of people go into relationships expecting to cheat.

Signs of a cheater

Of the small percentage of affairs which get discovered, most affairs are discovered by accident. Only a very tiny percentage of people crack under interrogation from a partner. Most get caught simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time - being seen by a mutual friend etc. With that said, there are always tell-tale signs.

Recommended websites

For some very thorough and thought provoking articles on everything to do with Cheating, affairs and infidelity including reader questions, stories and opinions check out our friends at CheatingQ.com

Recommended ebooks

Affair detector
Use CSI techniques to establish whether your partner is cheating on you. It details where and how to find the clues which are always there.

One word of warning, the site for this book has some aggressive pop ups. The best ebook on the subject I've had recommended, but don't click it unless you need it.

The anatomy of an affair
Expert advice for people struggling to deal with infidelity, cheating & other relationship problems. Author & ebook were featured on the Montel show.

This book is aimed more at salvaging a relationship after the event, whereas the above ebook (affair detector) is aimed more at establishing if cheating is taking place.