Capricorn women in the friend zone

by David Myers
(Hawaii)

i'm interested in a capricorn woman. we get along quite well: similar interests, talk to each other quite often, she listens to me, i listen to her, been out in a group several times, been out on a handful of friendly dates by ourselves.

i'm in the friend zone. i was wondering if any of these signs suggests that she may have stronger feelings for me.
1. sends me links to love songs
2. tells me that she misses me when i tell her same. maybe she's just being polite?
3. "casually" suggests that i have dinner with her out, or see some movie with her, or generally hang out with her.

to me, these are signs that she may. but every time i try to ask her out properly (so that we can talk about it), she has excused herself. the suggestions of dinner, movie, hang-out dates from her never became concrete: e.g. she ends up seeing the movies with others.

this suggests that i definitely am in the friend zone. i am confused. and would like to move on. (stupidly, i passed up on a chance with another girl simply because i felt that i had to be loyal to my feelings with this capricorn girl.)

i don't want to miss any chance with this capricorn girl. but i also don't want to ruin the friendship by forcing my feelings on her.

any advice from a capricorn woman will be appreciated. thanks.

Comments for Capricorn women in the friend zone

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capricorn female
by: Nina

She's definetely in to you. I'm a capricorn myself and would never waste my time with a guy if I'm not interested.

Us cappies
by: Caprimama

Well I think that she's def into you. I am a cappy girl and honestly I do this a lot. I hang out more with boys than I do with girls . So when I call a friend or text a friend who is a boy and I don't like them I will use things that they will distinguish as only being friends like the words buddy or brother or amigo. When it's someone that I like I will use words like Hun or sweetie.when it's a person that I like I will text him more than talk. I will offer to hang out. But not always will I come through with it because I'm waiting for them to show effort. And for us cappys we love when a man shows effort. Hope this helps good luck with her.

friend-zone is also good (or is good enough)
by: DMyers

Thanks guys for your encouraging words. Unfortunately, I am definitely in the friend-zone. Her actions says so. She's excused herself from all the times I've asked her out. She's just too kind to let me down directly. (However, she has continually asked me out with her friends. Two weeks after not hearing from her, she asks me to drinks with her friends.)

How long would you say a Capricorn would "test" a guy's advances before these tests become "hints"? I don't want to be "that" guy that doesn't get it.

(I have become that guy, sadly. Time to go surfing...then OUT!)

Response
by: Cappymama

Well I think that she might have already made up her mind about you. . We always size up every man to see what we potentially want from them. If you do want her I would say that you just stick around. Don't give up. Don't let her know to soon about how you feel but you should at some time. And always be respectful . Try being romantic towards her. Sending flowers or something.

are flowers too strong when in the friend-zone?
by: DMyers

hey capriMama! thanks for your responses (and perseverance). i agree with you. i definitely do not want to lose her. so, i will keep being her friend as i hope i have been.

one last question: you don't think sending flowers is a little outside the friend-zone? that may scare her away.

No
by: Cappymama

I wouldn't think so. Every girl likes flowers. If she's super young she might not like them but if she is a young woman she would.

Cap friend zone
by: CapGal

She sounds like she likes you, but yeah, is sizing you up. If we're not interested, you'll know it pretty quickly! We can't help but be honest - as it is what we want too.

It does take a lot to win us over... we want to be sure that both parties want the same thing (we're not looking for flings/casual affairs - we're in it for the long haul... but it takes time to get there)

Just be patient, show her how much you care by your "actions" more than anything else. Words are pretty, but they can be deceitful - we've learnt that the hard way, and remain aloof until we're sure of the other person.

Whatever you do, don't give up on her. She may just be testing you, but those subtle actions she's been doing show she cares for you.

Good luck!

friend-zone, sizing/testing
by: DMyers

hi CapGal! thx!

this "dance" has been going on forever. i wrote that message a few months ago. and its still hapnning now. its quite funny!

i really value her friendship and i dont wanna strain that anymore than it seems.

the problem is that she knows i like her. and even if shes brushed my suggestions of "we should talk" she still sends me these songs. it confuses me! and these are not just random songs. most of these "seems" to be specific to me/us either because of our common interests or because of some outing/event. to be truthful, her songs cuts me.

i feel deeply for her. but i cant play this game anymore.

a friendship with her is good. and hopefully that would last. i think she feels the same.

btw, shes not as mean that may have sound. shes very stern but delicate. (there may be other factors that she not willing to share. ive been given hints. but i didnt pry.)

and hopefully, i didnt sound bitter. because im not. i just feel sad for it.

also, i think she enjoyed the flowers. she was promoted at work and i thought it was the perfect opportunity for the flowers. thanks for the advice, cappymama!

Keep up!
by: Liz C.

Well, I've been reading everybody else's posts, as well as those those of our distressed friend, and I truly feel for you. I just have one bit of advice: stay put and be persistent. Capricorns are very patient and persistent people, and we sometimes assume that others are the same, and thus lose track of how long a dance has been going for because we're mostly just focused on our goals and end results. While others may be looking at how much time has elapsed, we keep our eyes on the end goal, and don't pay attention to those things. I am speaking from personal experience and because I am a capricorn woman. Honestly, I don't think she would bother to send you those links, if she didn't have another greater purpose. We're very practical people, and generally don't "waste our time" doing things that are not intended for a purpose. Therefore, I believe she is interested in you, and that is why she acts this way. Perhaps, when you're ready to come to decisive point, instead of just walking away, I would just make a more obvious attempt before leaving the entire enterprise. Good luck. :)

Keeping up?
by: DMyers

your response, liz, is unusually timely. sadly and unfortunately, i don't think i can keep it up anymore. i don't want to be the guy who "doesn't get it".

it was looking positive soon after my last post. the week after more so. we met up with friends - her invite to me. the end of that week was good, too. all light-hearted. then last week, it was gone.

when it came to my invite to her. her response was confusing, empty, blank and neither here nor there. practically, i'd take that as a "sorry, not interested."

i don't know what happened. and i don't want to query our common friends for it. so i'm going to get a stiff drink and toast our friendship.

freinds
by: CapGal

Hey there,

I am soooo sorry my reply is late... I still think she is interested in you, but maybe you need to let her know you're moving on.

You have given her all the signs you're interestd, she has responded in her quiet, capricorn way - but sometimes we need that lil' boot up to butt to remind us not to play coy continously (not that it's a game... but we sometiimes take on that role)

I am having issues of my own with a sagittarius (all the signs were there that we both liked each other, but instead of letting things develop... a cap mate stepped in and has basically scared him off... I'm hoping if I just play it cool, he may come back, but who knows - and soooo not happy cap mate stood in.... I soooo didn't need his help! gah! lolz)

quiet, capricorn way?
by: dmyers

hey capgal!
how quiet is "the usual quiet, capricorn way"?

anyway, i'm still in limbo. i've tried non-threateningly to get her to at least have chat. i think she doesn't want to take on that uncomfortability. she doesn't say "no". but she also doesn't say "sure". if she truly felt more, i think she would have ignored that uncomfortability.

at least she's willing to stay friends: she invited me to this mid-week-bbq thing last week. i couldn't go, sadly.

my fear now is that if i leave this "cold" wall between us, it will stay up forever. or stay-up long enough that we drift apart. that i don't really want to happen.

re: your cap friend scaring off that sagitarius. from the experience described in my posts, i think she "playing it cool" is what confused me.

i think there's a something between "playing it cool" and "going full-on". i'd suggest finding that in-between . if i can assume, it seems that it was your cap-male-friend that scared off that sagitarius. i.e. it actually was not you.

Friendzone
by: CapGal

Hey

Hmmm hard to explain our quiet ways - we're subtle (old fashioned/traditionalists/reserved)... the fact that she is inviting you to outings is a positive indicator that she likes you.

If I like someone, I want to see how they mix with my friends, family etc (kind of another test - but it takes time to get there with me - not just anyone meets my friends etc, unless I'm considering them more seriously)

We're almost as bad as Taurus' - takes ages for them to decide too (all earth signs really).

I'd suggest just keeping it light, she's inviting you out with her, do you really need to have a chat with her yet? Why not just see what eventuates, she's already letting you into her world, and that's a good indicator!!

I know the waiting is hard and can lead to self-doubting, but we're after someone who won't give up on us (we have a lot of barriers, but her letting you into her circle means she's starting to let them down).

You also indicated earlier that there may have been other barriers/issues holding her back too, if that is the case, then they will play a part i this too, if you can wait it out, it will be worth it in the end! She may need you more as a fried atm, but most our relationships (well, mine at least) are based on friendships - from there love grows, and grows stronger daily.

Hmmm as for my sag - we're in the friends zone, but chatting daily again, him initiating most the contact, it's almost getting back to where it was before.

I apologised to him for my Cap mate standing in the way he did, he did it without me knowing and did it with the best intentions - but we were still only really early days in, so it really wasn't needed, but he seems cool with all that.

Re: Cap women in the friend zone
by: Anonymous

Hello, I'm a cap female. I think you should just be honest and direct with her about the way you feel (lay it all out there) if you want more than just a friendship. I have dealt with a lot of guys that are in the friend zone but I leave them there because their advances or motives are not direct (or courteous) for my liking. If you want something real, you need to put real effort in and be ready to accept whatever the outcome is. If she is a cap, it will not ruin the friendship if she is not interested in you in that way, but it will save you wasting time with your feelings in lieu. She may not like your approach or feel that it is genuine and is waiting to see more before even entertaining any advances. You have nothing to lose by putting your real intentions out there if you are genuine...closure will be at minimum your reward.

friend-zone
by: dmyers

(For a perspective on time:
My last post was mid to late Nov 2010.
Today is mid Jan 2011.
So some time has actually lapsed.)

Hey CapGal! Good points. Keep it light.
Hey Anon! Good points. Lay it all out there.

I'm confused! Keep it light...Lay it all out there.???

Anhyway...to be honest. I really like her and, of course, want more than what's available. But at the moment, there's nothing more than friendship.

I like "laying things out". But my "laying things out" is never "heavy". A good chat of how I feel and a question of how she feels is basically what I wanted/needed. And I like doing this face-to-face. Sadly, I couldn't get her out. Even after I told her that I have feelings for her and that I wanted to talk about that and our friendship. Her initial rsponse was quite positive. Then when I followed it up, her response was confusing. She's never rejected me outright evertime time I tried to get her out to talk about this. But I've taken the hint from her multiple and indirect "never-nos-but-never-yes".

I still don't really know what she truly feels. Some would say that THAT in itself is an indication. Not to me, because I actually know her. I've felt some warmth from her when we do get to talk to each when out with our common friends. And this is AFTER I told her that I had feelings that I wanted to talk about.

Not being 100% sure is what cuts. I would have been happier with a direct rejection. Taking the hint feels like a quitter's easy way out. Unfortunately, there is no other way. I can't get her to talk to me "properly". Going full-on crazy with demands and ultimatums is not my thing and I would never do that to anyone - especially her.

Hopefully we're still friends. We don't talk (both in-real-life and on-line) alone as much anymore. This is what I truly miss. And when I do get a chance...starting a conversation about things we used to talk about feels like I'm "grasping at straws". We needed new things to keep our friendship fresh. Something I really worked on but failed because, well, it takes two.

Contact is really important. What I was trying to prevent is starting to happen. Life takes hold (of both I and her). Drift happens.

My advice to anyone reading this thread: Do not neglect contact with friends. And I do mean "with friends". Those you are willing to let go are not your friends. And you're not a friend to them.

Older Cap Woman
by: Anonymous

Hi,

I feel bad for you but will share this. A loyal man is the greatest thing a Cap woman wants so you sound like a loyal guy. Cap women are shy and traditional - more so when they are younger. They definitely need to know you are interested. When I was younger, I rejected guys who introduced themselves to me with a beer in their hand! I was scared of guys who came on too strong, too fast. Now I'm 52 and since age 40 or so, like most women, we become more comfortable with ourselves but what a cappy woman always does is sizes up the men and see how they behave OVER TIME. I had a co-worker I liked a lot but I got to experience him over time and did not like that he was not that ambitious, drinks too much and would probably have sex with women he met if he had too much to drink. He would oogle women in front of me or other women he dated. I knew he liked me a lot and I think he thought it would make me jealous and come after him. Wrong move. We can dismiss men quite easily and not look back. I would date him if he corrected his behavior (I think he knows he has made mistakes and is trying to prove he's not the guy I think he is) but first impressions mean a lot to cappy's. I would probably never marry him though. I was married once and it was disastrous (I was only 21 yrs old) and I don't intend on marrying again. He's 47/48 yrs old and has never married either so it might work and be fun for a while. That's the evolution of a cappy woman.

Hope that helps.

Cap girl
by: Anonymous

I've been after a cap girl for a year and a half.... still going and nothing. She's worth it :)

capricorn femele in zone's friend
by: ANITA

well if you got this far with a capricorn girl you are the one who got her heart but it does ' nt mean that when we evite you for going out means that we are not seriously about we are test you and we only test the guy that we are intersting once if you fail you loses us because we don' t like to be playing around when it cames to love if you take too long to make a move when we are intersting in you we starting lose hope in you and just give up in you because we don ' t like to wast time on something that does ' nt go anywhere if you got our attetion it was because of your patiece with us because we are hard to get trust me if you got her attettion starting act now and show her you sweetiness to her and the most important things show that you have a lot of respect for her trust me she will give to you her deep love but if you ingnore her and not act while she is interest in you she will give on you and not bother about you anymore because you don 't exist for her and don 't ever try to break her heart because she will never forgive you because we w love we love from the heart and don 't playing with us take us seriously because when we fall it for real and for you i would advise you when she say we should go out she meant for you take her out because she thinks you will never take her out or you are too slow we don't like to run after a guy that we like she is doing it for you to make a move on her but if you dont propuse her to go out with you and waiting for always to the move trust me she will lose interesting in you quickly because she will think you are just a lose of time make you see her im telling you take her out she will know you love for her because we dreaming in our true love of a guy that we take us out for a diner and show his action of romatic guy and smart enough to get us good luck but keep in mind this one

Just recently been won over :)
by: CapGal

Ahhh here's an example of how long it can take to win a Cappy over.

I've been friends with my Taurus mate for over two years, chatting all the time, comfortable with each other.

Initially he liked me, but I didn't feel it. He stopped pushing on that side, and instead we developed a pretty close friendship.

Over time I got to see the really sweet, caring side of him, and he won my trust. (We had both dated other people in that time as well - though was never really anything serious for me).

Yet Taurus won my heart through his constant, unmoving friendship with me... after being friends for over two years, we've now been happily in love for six months.

It may have taken a while to win me over, but I'm glad he did - I can honestly see a LONG future with him (which is essentially want a cap wants... a forever!)

I hope things have improved with your situation... or if it hasn't with the cap gal you're after, I hope that you find love in the future (if you haven't already)

:)

experiencing the same... brother
by: Anonymous

I have been courting this cappy girl for about 9 mos. My gosh she is very2 unpredictable, ill tempered, easily irritated and such. But nonetheless, im still hoping that we would be together. We go out on a date, with friends and us alone ( only once) but everytime ask her again she dont want to go with me? But when i asked her if we are playing games, she said she is not butmwhen i asked her if we could be together she just tells me nothing either change topic or blank response?.. :( my gosh! This girl is very tough... im already on the brink of breaking up my perseverance. :(

Thus she is always texting. My Goodness, im about to explode, Of her too much secrecy. Sometimes if i dont text she doesnt text also. What should i do. Brother if u are still in this thread pls help me. I just her to be direct to what she feel for me.

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