Aries man misunderstandings

by B

I am a Libra woman and for the last six months, I have been close to an Aries man. We have had our fair share of misunderstandings but for the past few days he has refused to speak to me at all. We had a fantastic conversation about us on Saturday morning but on Saturday night when I messaged him to wish him a lovely evening he replied f--- you. More words followed. To say that I am upset and shocked is an understatement. I have never felt so low as it just came out of the blue.

I have emailed him and asked if what we have is completely over and if he has moved on (hmmm, since Saturday, fast work if he has) but he has refused to answer any of my messages. His father passed away a year ago, the anniversary of his death was a couple of days before and he is still trying to come to terms with his loss. Could this be the reason for his unprovoked verbal attack? Or is he just plain rude?

Don't get me wrong, I can give as good as I get but that just left me fighting to find any words at all to respond. When he speaks to other people he is fine with them and will happily laugh away but with me... Could wishing a person a pleasant evening really do that? Really? Sorry, I'm rambling, I am still so shocked by this!

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B
by: Anonymous

Like you, I am a Libra female who adores an Aries male...and the minute I told him how I felt, he started being rude and saying to f off etcetera. however, he keeps tabs on me and watches from a distance, almost chokes when he does try to speak and his friends say theythink he really loves me but is afraid...as do the psychics. I feel this in my heart too, but as to whether he will come back or not, I have to wait and see. Ihad a very clear vision which was very spectacular one night, where he came to me and we talked freely and gently stroked each other for hours, but he was looking older int he vision. This was after I asked my father for help on the 26th anniversary of his death, and he is much like my father was. I feel it was telling me it was possible later on, but he had to deal with his past first. Good luck.

Thanks for comment Anon'
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your comments Anon'. This will not be the first time he has not spoken to me, the last time he decided to throw his toys out of his pram (I told him off about something he did that I was not happy about) he did not speak to me for a month.

It's funny you should say about the moment you show your feelings...he actually likes that and is very open about showing his too. I have been giving it a lot of thought and I really do think this has everything to do with the loss of his father. His father meant the world to him and he has not come to terms with his father passing (that much I know).

He told me that he was so glad that I was there for him and that he would need me (anniversary of is fathers death a couple of days before he swore at me) as the next couple of days would be tough for him. I guess they were a lot tougher than he imagined.

Although I can't blame him for being down, upset, angry etc. his unprovoked reaction was way over the top and I won't tolerate rudeness from him or anyone and he knows that. I lost a lot of respect for him on Saturday, so I guess I need to have a good think about whether or not I really even want to speak to him. As far as I see it, no man is worth putting up with nonsense like that, no matter how deep my feelings may be for him, not even a magnetic Aries!

Forgot to put name
by: B

Sorry I forgot to put my name when replying to you Anon'.

B.

Update!
by: B

So, Aries Man has not spoken to me for two months and is now with (I think, not 100% certain) someone new...he is 40, she is 23. Out of the blue (a week ago) he contacts me, asks me how I am, why I am still awake at that time of the morning. I grit my teeth and steer the chat towards work.

We chat for an hour (about work), he ends the convo by telling me to enjoy my day or the rest of my sleep. End of story. No contact since. Hmmm, are they all this strange. I've been racking my brain wondering what the hell he wanted and why he was even contacting me at all. Any light that can be shed on this would be appreciated!

Abusive!
by: Anonymous

If you stay with any man who treats you like above comments, regardless if he is an Aries or not, you are being abused. GET OUT NOW! You will meet a decent, kind man, there are plenty of them. You are just lusting and trying to conquer him...(I know I can change him and make him love me, all will be good....never, EVER is that going to happen, NEVER)...face it...NOW for your own sake, or you will regret your whole life. He is not worth it...are you?

Who is in an abusive relationship?
by: B!

Thanks for your comment Anon but I am not with this man. I have never been and will never be in an abusive relationship. If I am ever unfortunate enough to ever found myself in one, it would last all of five minutes. I'm sorry but I have too much self respect to put myself through that. Being told to f'off once was enough to put me off. Yes I was upset 'at the time' but two months down the line...haha, erm no.

I think my last question was what the hell does he want after all of this time with no contact. He has since contacted me several times which I actually find extremely comical...

Thinking about it, I think I can answer my own question...control. He now sees me as a person that he has no control over...oh well, he should have thought before he opened his mouth in the first place. :-)

abusive reactions
by: barb libra monkey

I have since come to realise the abusive ranting of the Aries male is more about what dramas they are coping with and not so much about the one they are directing them to. We may be the one they feel safe enough to pull this on and maybe they think we actually will take it as we claim that we love them and if we do, should forgive.

It seems when they have a plethora of issues that are bogging them down and then we try to be nice, they simply don't have the capacity to cope and push us away with their bad language. I am also sure they really don't mean it and are sorry later on.
I recently experienced this in public, and wasn't aware he was even at the same venue at the time. It was like his way of letting me know he was present so I need consider that fact and not do anything I would later regret.
When another male showed appreciation for me, he soon came into my space, as if to keep tabs on me, then came and sat next to me and spoke in a gentle tone like he was trying to get closer. Later on he got the same bus...on purpose, and we were only ones on board...all was well until I said something that sparked anger from a past incident. However, even under that explosive burst of anger, he showed a caring side with a comment about not getting me in trouble for something I had done...personal.
Now, over a month later, I spot him coming up to my culdesac late at night in a taxi...they only ever appear up my street being a dead-end, when he is in town. It slowed outside, but only my bedroom light was on, and I did txt him after the other incident and advise that I won't discuss things, or sleep with drunk men. Maybe these men are testing us late at night to see if we have others with us??
He really is a beautiful man deep down, and I did learn he had big issues to deal with when he ranted at me, so I am willing to talk to him and if things ever get further, it won't be before time. I feel he is really trying to get his act together and just needs time and to know he hasn't been left to rot whilst he achieves that. I sincerely think we (myself included) can misjudge the reasons for their outbursts and maybe need to give them space to chill. good luck

gotta love them
by: barb libra monkey

Although this may sound bizarre, this outwardly verbally abusive male gives off the most incredible vibes of pacivity and extreme passion that send erotic shivers through my body for hours after visual contact...reciprocated visual.
This has happened the last 2 times on his way back to work which is out of town.(:
I feel this is a tantric thing and also happens whenever he is in town, or close by...both very perceptive...amazing experience(: Who needs physical contact when you have this special asset?
Has anyone else ever experienced this higher level of contact with their Aries male?

To Barb - Thanks for your comments.
by: B!

Barb, I don't know what he is playing at. We stopped speaking for five months and out of the blue two months ago, he contacts me professing his love for me. He sends me messages telling me how much he needs me, how much he loves me...yet when we do speak he seems like he is testing me to get a rise out of me, I mean what the hell...

I know he is flirting up a storm with several women (he doesn't know that I know and quite frankly, I will not waste my time even mentioning it to him). But it seems the more he flirts with them, the more needy his words are to me...I don't get this. I'm wondering if he is suffering with guilt. Who knows. It's got to the stage where I am hardly replying to his messages. Why? Because I just feel anger and hurt towards him. He has no idea...

Is it me he wants? I honestly don't know...he says it's me...I'm not convinced. I'm a bit sick of waking up in the morning finding messages from him telling me how much he loves and needs me knowing the things he is saying to other women (although as far as I know he is not telling any of them that he loves them - but again, who knows). It has got to the stage where he is literally begging me to see him. Why would I want to do that? I have a real problem when it comes to men that say one thing and do another.

Honestly, I think he is sending me messages to try and maintain some kind of control. Never going to happen...he obviously does not know me well enough. He is beginning to look like a coward in my eyes and that is not something I find attractive at all.

flirting etc...
by: barb libra monkey

Dear B,

Do you not think the obvious flirtations with other women when he is declaring his love fore you is merely to get you to react and show how much you care for him? I think he needs to see that you are jealous and this would make him then feel like the man who is desired by you. If you can't handle that, you are wasting your time on an Aries, as they need to know they are truly wanted...hence inciting jealous feelings from their desired partner(:

Thanks again Barb!
by: B!

Barb, I don't know what to think. I know that he does not like when a woman displays jealousy towards another woman. He views it as a major insecurity and a complete turnoff. He loves confidence in a woman above all else.

I can't handle mind games and don't see why I should have to. Why does he need to make things so complex. That to me is a turnoff and completely unnecessary. Perhaps the reason they never change is because women allow them to get away with their nonsense...just a thought. He says he loves me because of my attitude, he loves that I am not a pushover.

I think I'm getting conflicting messages from what I have read in the Aries Man/Libra Women forum. Some say ignore, ignore, ignore the aries man and some say that the aries man constantly needs to know they are loved. Personally, I have had no success with the latter (this just makes him run away) and plenty of success with the former. It's just the mind games (inbetween) that gets to me, hurts me and upsets me. I really don't know...but I do know I will NOT be controlled.

I appreciate your insight Barb. I have read your replies on other sites regarding the aries man and can identify with a lot of what you say, so thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom...it is much appreciated.

I guess this is something I may never be able to figure out. Ideally, I would love to walk away but I find myself unable to do that right now. It's like a spell has been cast...corny I know but thats how it feels...'sigh'.

B
by: barb libra monkey

No B, you are right...it isn't nice to be controlled...and especially we Librans! I do like a stronger male, but also like my ability to be me.
You could be right about them thinking jealousy is an insecurity and yes, they do like spirit in a girl...turns them on. But, I feel they also do like the jealousy factor to give their ego the boost it craves.
I am finding the more I ignore the Aries he seems to try to get in my space...but would deny it emphatically(:
They are like a drug that has become an addiction and though I try, when I see him again, my heart skips a beat and I melt again. Where does it all end, as it is impossible to move on and I am at an age that I really need to be thinking of security in a relationship.
One thing though, it certainly makes life interesting and keeps passion alive, even if only in short bursts...and only in the mind): Good luck B, and thanks for your comments(:

Well, I put the nail in the coffin!
by: B!

Thanks for your replies Barb. I messed up and put the final nail in the coffin. He was being so sweet to me but was flirting so much with other women..He told me how much he loved me and wanted me and instead of returning the sentiments, I had to have my say about all of the flirting and sharing he was doing with others.

He was deeply outraged (even though he admitted to the flirting but at the same time questioned my trust...wth), voiced his displeasure at what I had said and in short wished me a happy life and said this is goodbye. I'll admit, I am in an absolute state, I won't hide that fact. It was the fact that I listened to others (even though I told him I had asked them to prove it, which I did) that I think put the nail in the coffin.

To say I am heartbroken is an understatement. This all happened a few hours ago and I can't sleep at all. I just feel like I am in physical pain. He told me the day before that he would always love me through good and bad...well this was too bad I guess. My confusion does not run any deeper than it is now. The devestaion I am feeling right now can't even be described. I don't know how to get over this feeling...it hurts too much. What the hell have I done? :-(((

So stupid of me!
by: B!

Just to add, the most painful part of it was me trying to apologise (would have been pitiful for anyone watching...I was a mess and I never grovel to anyone, so why I felt the need to do this with him was pure madness in hindsight). I hadn't even stopped to think that he was admitting to the flirting without any regret at all.

All I wanted to get across was him to understand where I was coming from and true to form, he didn't reply back to anything I said...nothing. I may as well have been invisible...complete brick wall in front of me.

I am brutally honest and the same applies to when I think I have hurt a friend. I will do anything in my power to make things right, to make sure that their feelingss remain intact...I want to leave them with no hurt. But when you're hitting your head against a brick wall...

I know I can never make this right but I do want him to know (even though I have told him in as many ways as I can) that I had no intention of hurting his feelings like that...I know he will never come back...

Why did it turn out to make me look like it was me in the wrong? I don't understand...

B nail in coffin
by: barb libra monkey

Wow B, sounds like we both experienced the same thing almost): The Dragon caome back to enjoy his time off for the week and my daughter was also here visiting. she witnessed him being nice without speaking to me, and I was feeling good about that.
However, on my big night after running a big event, unbeknown to me at the time, he had approached my daughter and joked with her about stuff whilst watching one of the events. After, she dropped me off and I went to a bar and sat in the pokie room alone, then in he came. He was in a happy mood, and a little drunk, and I just smiled and shook my head sweetly. He left the room then returned and sat at the romantic machine behind me. Another lady came in, and at the time she was leaving shortly after, I ran out of available funds and decided to go find my daughter as we rarely get to see each other. He didn't speak, and I mentioned I had visitors, then bid him goodnight politely. I felt a terrible feeling in my gut as I left the room, as though he were begging me to stay, but was scared of making a fool of myself and kept going. Later that night he came past my place very slowly in a taxi...but would've seen another car and got the wrong impression.
The next day, after my daughter flew home, I went ot a beachside bar to relax away from the locals...very draining running a festival. Next thing, he turned up looking handsome and sober (hi friend runs the bar), and sat strategically in the smoking area...knowing I don't smoke...and kept looking at me, but not saying anything. I noticed he even ordered teh same drink as me (unusual for him), and gave the guys an ipod of songs he had arranged...Jeff Buckley's Last Goodbye and others of a similar vein...all saying he loved me but it was hopeless so he was leaving for good.
I felt exactly as you did and still do in spurts, but a psychic told me he would be back one day and apologise. Who knows, maybe he will. All I know is if he feels as bad as I do/did, I can fully understand his pain. Men are weaker than us emotionally, and really do feel a lot of pain and take a long time to get over it...if ever.
If he truly meant what he said, he will come back, just not right away. Breathe deep and know it will sort out in the long run...I feel such a strong connection it can't just fade...I bet it is the same for you. Go girl...we need to gain confidence.

curious
by: Anonymous

Hi, I've just read both of your stories and I have to say I'm thinking, yes these guys might come back but do you really want them back?? And if you do why? If I'm not mistaken one of the men spent long nights and days telling you he loved you and then as soon as you confronted him about his flirting with other women he completely dissed you never to be heard from again. Why would you want a guy like that to come back? This is a genuine question, I'm not having a go just curious :))

The Hell with That!!!
by: Sheri

That is not love! I am really shocked at you Libra females. How could you allow anyone to treat you that way!?? I wouldn't give a good god-dang if it was GOD himself, which we know would never happen, no one should be treated like that. If a man ever told me to F&^* off, rest assure his azz wouldn't have to EVER worry about me again. Well, that would be after I gave him a few choice words myself. That is unacceptable! plus, what 40 year old man acts like that? I would think at that age, life lessons would have at least taught him how to be civil!!. "B", I sure hope you have since moved on with your life and DON'T EVER ALLOW A MAN, I don't care what his horoscope is, EVER TREAT YOU THAT WAY! I am a 47 year old Libra, and even in my younger days, I would never have put up with anyone talking too or treating me that way because I've never treated anyone that way unless they truly deserved it and pushed me to that point.
Barb Libra Monkey, your advice really is not that good. B, you shouldn't wait for an azzhole like that to ever call you again. MOVE ON with the swiftness!

Super Confusing, Baffles the Brain
by: Anonymous

I’ve been reading your comments and those of other beautiful Libra women and it’s as if they’ve pulled the words and thoughts from my mind. My life all, over these pages with my aries man of 6 years. For the first 4 years, everything was fabulous, couldn’t believe that I found my soul mate and he said he felt the same way. Oh ya, he had his bad moods complete with brooding but those were short lived rare and he said how he incredible it was that after talking to me, he felt so much more relaxed. One day, something happened and I have no idea what or why or when, just that someone flipped the switch and he became cruel and mean and distant, disappearing completely for long periods of time, not answering messages or calls. It hurt so bad and I thought he was gone for good then woosh, he’s back and alls good. It happens more frequently now, more bad moods than good yet he keeps on coming back. I feel like I’m a yo-yo. I did lots of soul searching, thinking, pondering and you know what, it’s not you or me, it’s the Aries himself. Always having to be better than anyone else, keeping up with the jones’s, one upmanship, everyone out to use and take advantage of them, brooding and moody. They come back and pour on the love and passion and you fly so high and feel like you’ll never touch ground again. Sadly, he will go again and will come back again, it’s a neverending cycle and ya they do love us and "need" us but only when it’s convenient for them. I think they unconsciously take advantage of us because they know that no matter what they do or say, we will be there. Everyone has their breaking point and I don’t know about you but I’m so tired!!

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