Aries man Libra woman - is he testing me?

by lilium
(usa)

I'm a Libra woman and I'm currently in a physical relationship with an Aries man. Its been so interesting... while he is sometimes painfully straightforward... I've actually come to realize that i can trust that whatever he's telling me is actually exactly what he wants to say...however in the emotions department, he can't be that straightforward...he puts me through (what i call) little tests...i think its because he wants to make sure he won't be rejected if/when he moves in for a serious relationship...
when we first met each other he told me that he has to be genuinely interested in and attracted to the girl ...even if just for hooking up. So with both of us (at the time) not looking for relationships or dating really...things worked well. then one day he messaged me and said that he was "dating someone now"...naturally, there's a tiny red flag that pops up. it was strange to me, because about 2 weeks before he sent me that message we had a really good convo and he wanted to meet up...i was going to ask in a very nonchalant way (if thats possible) had he ever been interested in dating me...or something along those lines...and before i could ask...he basically said that he was very attracted to me and interested in dating but he didnt think i was interested in anything "like that"...i told him that he should have spoken with me about it and not just jumped to conclusions then as we spoke more i realized it was a TEST...he was feeling me out to see if I was interested in more than just a physical relationship...anyway, i made it clear to him that I was interested in dating him, and basically a day or two later...he magically wasn't dating anyone anymore and he asked me to come over. we had a really great conversation...he did something different...he asked me questions about me and my interests...usually i listen to him go on about work and family (which i dont mind hearing) but it was definitely very noticeable when he decided to include me and not just monologue the convo away. Now...we still have not been on one date...but he claims he is VERY attracted to me and he likes me...but basically its still just a physical relationship...
...so what do you think? i dont know i just feel like he has a plan...lol... not in a sneaky, awful way...but a way to pursue a relationship with me and fireproof himself from being hurt...i've read in so many places that they are super terrified of being hurt/ rejected. so in a way it feels like he's working backward.... physical first then work his way into my heart! arrrgh!
its frustrating but when its good its really good...he's sweet, yet very open...
its just weird..how he makes me feel.

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lilium, always testing...
by: Anonymous

Dear Lilium, At least you got as far as the physical... I wish we could have that.

The Aries I love seems to have decided he can't handle someone who is able to love him unconditionally and refuses to answer txt or anything. However, after writing F...off on the back of a card from the valentine flower I sent to his home, he drove up to my dead-end street with radio blaring and window down late the same night.

I watched him do a drive-by one day, walk up the next night, then chicken out when the neighbor saw him, then came up to my steps and chicken out the next, and walk here, chicken out, then called a cab to collect him on the adjacent corner. He also came out to front counter of cafe where he works, all the last three times I have called in there, and then just stands near the waitress and asks necessary questions, then smiles and heads back into kitchen! His tests are long and arduous. I know from his actions and moods that he is a fragile little boy wanting true love and not compromise. Good work.

Aries sprung
by: In too deep

I'm a libra woman and the guy I'm head over heels with is an Aries..when we first met I must say I wasn't into he fiery persistant energy. He continued to pursue me until finally I agreed to go out with him. Getting to know each other has been quite challeging. We are polar opposites which I find interesting since he and I can go weeks without seeing or speaking to each other but when we connect it's like we were never apart. We balance each other. For me a libra woman we like affectionate men Aries men are not. They can be romantic when the mood hits them. But don't hold your breath.

I went through everything you are talking about
by: Anonymous

I was like you I played it cool even though I wanted more. We are now married. We still go through things that you were talking about. My advice is sometimes you have to put your foot down don't ever think you don't deserve better. I notice when I look really sexy and have been out on the town taking care of business he is all over me. I give him space, attention but not like a hound just gracefully and walk away he loves it. I do find my self saying lately what about me.

tresting for sure!
by: Anonymous

Honestly, I feel like I am being tested 24/7 and wonder if it will ever progress further...I certainly hold my breath and hope so, as I simply cannot get him out of my every thought...he sends my body into a complete tizz!
As I said earlier, we have never even kissed, just spoken and use music to communicate most the time...now I have given him a wide berth in hope he will become more curious and to give him space.
I notice his friends are getting to know me for me when we meet in places he doesn't go, and quite by chance. Maybe they will tell him how lovely I looked and that we actually held very intelligent conversations and he will realise I am not a ditz...not that I believe he thinks that anyway. It seems whenever I put him in his place after he tells me to f'off and delete his number, he is more frequently in my space...and he knows my schedule, so plans it. I don't mind in the least, and now just smile at his comments, as he always seems to be where I can see him up close the next day, looking to make sure I have seen him. He gets workmates to keep tabs on me, so I know he is still interested, but still terrified of me.

libra loving my Aries man
by: Anonymous

HE IS "ALL" MAN!And I am all female it is EXPLOSIVE been together over7 years!married still in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAMELLA

Are you me?
by: S

My Aries man point blank said "you always pass the test" the other night. I realized that until I pass ALL of his tests, he won't be 100% mine, but it's getting there. We have been dating 2 months and although that's not THAT long, it's long enough to establish SOMETHING. I could not pin him down to anything..just physical, friends, bf/gf, nothing...what the heck are we? He HAS to be able to predict all outcomes - to a fault. I am the same way, but at the same time I try to go with the flow.

We finally had it out one night and this is what I said "do you like me?" and he said "yes" and I said "do you care if I date other people?" and he said "well, I don't want you to, but if you are going to then..." and I cut him off and said "so if you saw me out and I was acting with someone else the way I am with you, you would be a-ok and happy as can be?" and he said "well, no." Then he said "I like you, but I also liked my ex wife early on and look where that got me" and I said "who cares? Just tell yourself that you like me and end it right there and focus on me - on us." I told him I flat out would not play games and I was not going to devote my time and energy into something where the feeling was not mutual. I said "the ball is in your court" I was tired of playing tip toe around. Now, he introduces me as his GF and seems more...relaxed. Libras are people pleasers so we tip toe around issues so as not to upset someone. I realized that he needed to be told how it was because the unknown (even though he was creating it) was eating him up and adding to his stress.

It's all about timing, however. This came after he ended things with me citing that he was too busy. Then, the next day texting me that he may have been wrong. I DID NOT text or call back. Next day, he text me again. I was letting him stew a little for sure. He told me about his night out and I just text "glad you had fun" and that was it. Then, nothing for 2 days. All of the sudden he emerged with "well, I don't want to lose you and I have been thinking about you." I now know that I cannot take his "moods" personally. I am supportive when I feel like he is stressing, but I don't bring up "relationship" talk during this time because that stresses him more. I give him space and let him initiate and now, things are better than before.

Will it ever end?
by: Bold & Sexy Libra Siren

I hate the testing part. I hate it to the fullest. I also play it cool and act as if it doesn't bother me. But he knows that it does. Thats the part that I hate. I hang around his nephew all the time at my son's football practice. So, I make sure everything that comes out of my mouth is sophisticated and graceful and fun at the same time. His nephew even complimented on me and how beautiful I looked. I said thank you and I know. I made him laugh, I told him (His Nephew) that it was my favorite dress. I left out my looks so I wouldn't seem to overly cocky.

I love my Aries to death and he knows it. He told me that he was "Cock". I told him that he wasn't. I explained to him the difference between Cocky and Confident. Knowing facts vs. indulging in ones self. Underestimating your compo vs. knowing you compo's weakness and using it to his advantage. I was happy that he tested me in that way. I was able to shine with my intellecual side and knowledge. Maybe he wanted to see what I thought about him. I did pass that test. He came over for food and laughs with me and my kids. So, that went well.

He is the best at what he does and I support him. He also supports me, but yet wants me to do it in his way. It's annoying but cute at the same time.

He is all that Want and need as a man. I just wis the testing would go away. But, for over a year now, it hasn't. I am just a student and he is the teacher and i pass every test. Graduated from College with a Associate's degree in Business with at 3.59 gpa. I am sure this is a test worth working hard to past. But getting better and doing better with out him is something i can do but dont want to do..

ohhh the tests!!
by: barb libra monkey

Yes, the constant stream of tests!! Others think I imagine this, so it is sooo good to hear so many others discussing the same thing!
Even though he professes I am pathetic and shameless, he tries to get in my space immediately afterward?? Go figure!
I have told him how I feel, and when I do, he gets frustrated and angry, but like the child who is confident their parent loves them anyway, I believe these boys (they are boys in men's bodies), are testing us when they do the abuse thing. It is as if they want to see if we meant what was said, or were just throwing words around. If they weren't confident of our love, they would be too scared to say these things...my child does the same thing, and always apologises later.
As crazy as it sounds, I find it comforting that he still feels that confident. If I was wrong, why then would he wait for me to come past, or come into a room where no-one else is and sit right behind me?...or beside me and then speak? Why would he borrow other's cars to do drive-by's late at night or early morning to check if anyone else is with me? Why pay for taxis to come by and why walk all the way to my place and chicken out and call a cab to pick him up?
Why would he be angry that I go out and have fun with other people (clean fun) if he didn't like me? Bring it on I say(: I find his tanties cute in a way, he really does need to be appreciated to feel safe, but doesn't know how to cope with his feelings.(: Mind you, nor do I. I just hope he never stops wanting to put me to the test, but at the same time, crave his physical attention and wonder if that will ever come!

mine is a mixture!
by: Anonymous

My man is something else it was a love at first sight sortve thing. I am very much inlove with this man in a short time. He has told me a couple of times that he loves me and a lot of sweet things, we are some what physical well he is to me lol. I can feel things will be changing soon I believe crossing the line to serious. Aaahhh he's amazing we want the same thing the long haul not short term. Some how all of his loyalty is with me I think its because I understand if I want the whole package than I have to give him tons of room to make his own choices. He has very deep emotions and wouldn't hurt me he looks at things from my side before I do. Lol my only issue is having patenits waiting for the rest of the hott physical part makes me nuts! Any suggestions

Libra woman
by: Anonymous

I am a libra woman that's kinda dating a aries man. We have been dating for about two months. Some days he wants to be bother and sum says he just don't. I don't know but at times it's like he plays the hard to get role. Don't understand him at times, but all I know is that he has my nose open for him. I don't know if he's interested in me or not. So I know exactly what u girls are goin through with aries men.

Ended
by: Anonymous

I fell for an Aries man, he was very full on, promising me the world and then after 2 weeks of fantastic dating he backed off saying he wasn't ready. One text and it was all over despite having plans for holidays, christamas etc he won't reply to any texts so I have given up. He is now portraying a very happy person on social media sites! We were perfect together in every way, fate had a hand in this too!

He is so annoying
by: Anonymous

I have been crazy about him for more than a year now. We are really good friends. I told him 2 months ago how I felt and he said that he has known how I feel for a long time . then we got into a physical relationship because the attraction that was there between us was getting too much. It started upsetting me that he was not feeling anything more for me but attraction according to him. So I put an end to the physical relationship. But he kreps throwing me mixed signals. I don't know wat to do. I dunno if he is testing my feelings or if he is trying to figure out how he feels.! Pls help me!

confused libra
by: Anonymous

I currently have a physical relationship with an Aries man. He sends me so many mixed signals like he never texts me first and he works alot so if I wanna talk to him I have to text him first we've been doing this for a few months now and iv told him in the past that I have strong feeling for him but he always says he doesn't want a relationship yet he likes hanging out with me still. When were together is another story he's got a lot to say he's always cuddling me and telling me about his friends and family we have great conversation. I want more from him but Idk what direction to take with him.I no if you want a guy to want more you have to let him chase you but he almost never gets a hold of me. iv been dealing with his head games this hole time but like all of you are saying I feel like it's a test. If tried to ask some ice my girlfriend's for advice but no one nos what to do..any advice for me?

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